I'm sure you have heard "it takes a village to raise a child," but maybe people haven't told you that's also true for adults throughout the rest of our lives. For instance, raising good-quality and ethical professionals takes up the whole of this university. When our usual "village" is taken away, it can hit hard, especially for those from a different country, language, and socioeconomic context. It is easy to feel swallowed up by the world around you. Always trying to fit in can be exhausting. As September is back (or welcome!) to school month, I want to share a few tips on how to (re)connect with your own self while adapting to your new reality.
Step 1: Build a community
Three weeks ago, I had to move. It would've been impossible without the help of amazing friends my husband and I made in Canada. Everyone needs a support network. Finding people who share your culture and interests can be the steppingstone to that. Besides trying to connect with people at your lab or department, the is a great place to start community building. They have an for social gatherings, trips, advising appointments and training, and other valuable resources. It is also an excellent place to hang out or volunteer. Another great opportunity as a Queen's grad student is living in one of the . You need some luck to become a tenant. Still, it is a lovely space with activities happening throughout the year.
Step 2: Learn to cook
Eating and cooking are sensory, almost divine, experiences. Call your relative who makes that special dish to get the recipe. Make a batch of it and put it in your freezer. As you prepare it, the smell and taste will remind you of experiences you have long forgotten – it's magic! Also, you will probably be healthier (and less broke) this way. Cafeteria and frozen food may seem practical and exciting at first. Still, if you come from a place where food is a big deal (shoutout to all the Brazilians craving ), you will soon start to miss something. Can’t find ingredients? Use .
Step 3: Connect with your language
If English is not your first language, speaking it 24/7 becomes tiring really quickly – at least at the beginning. Talking with family and friends from back home is an easy fix. It also keeps everyone updated on each other's lives, bringing a sense of belonging. It doesn't make the "" disappear, but it helps. Other options are to have your phone and personal computer settings display your native speech, catch up on memes, watch the news, read books, watch movies and listen to songs. has been my favourite lately. Bonus: If you're especially from Latin America, try out the at the ARC!
Step 4: Incorporate tradition
Wear the traditional clothes your grandma gave you. Light up that special incense you brought with you. Put up a flag in your bedroom. Go to a party and dance as your sister taught you. Cook and eat that special holiday dish you got the recipe from your aunt. Pray if you have a faith. Make a and cheer with your friends on a Sunday barbecue. I have realized that I've never felt more Brazilian than I feel now, not living in Brazil. Traditions and customs exist to keep cultures alive, connecting us to what came before us. Replicate the ones that make sense to you.
Step 5: Talk about your culture
Just because you're living in Canada and (hopefully) want to know more about Canadian culture, it doesn't mean you need to forget about your own. Odds are that people are also interested in learning more about your country's customs. In the past year, I have celebrated not only but also and the . Teaching others our traditions makes us more curious about and connected to our own history. There is a lot of beauty in celebrating differences.